Berkeley protesters have spent 18 months at the top of trees to "protect" an oak grove from planned construction work.

"They're very well-trained tree climbers. They're very experienced, and I have trust in them that they're going to keep themselves safe and they're going to keep defending the grove," said a ground supporter who would give her name only as Citizyn.

Wait, you train for these things? Oh Citizyn, did you not make it out of tree-climbing boot camp yourself? It's ok, I bet you're the best bra-burner out there.

The situation is quite ridiculous generally, but in the past couple of weeks, it has gotten quite, err, gross:

Protesters howled, flung excrement and shook tree branches as campus-hired arborists cut supply lines and removed gear.

But by late this week, campus police were conducting delicate negotiations with tree-sitters, offering to provide food and water if protesters would lower their waste on a daily basis in the interest of hygiene.

Campus officials ended up giving up the water without concessions; protesters declined to yield their urine.

Ok, whatever, they're animals. What I don't get is, why is the administration negotiating with them? It should do one of two things: Have the police get them down, or leave them up there starved and climbing in their own poop.

These monkeys might have gotten their inspiration from an incident a few years back at Cornell, where I went to college. The university was planning to make a much-needed parking lot out of a hideous collection of brush and bushes severely mislabeled as "Redbud Woods." The "Redbuddies," from students to professors, chained themselves to the woods and climbed up trees in order to stop the construction work. Of course, instead of getting them for trespassing, the university administration set up a tent in the woods, and had the university president sit under that tent next to a young, smelly tree-climber to sign an "agreement" whereby the school made several concessions in exchange for the Redbuddies leaving the woods. It was a very classy sight, worthy of an Ivy League institution.

Today, the Redbud Woods have become the Redbud parking lot. I understand that a memorial to the woods has been set up there, but for some reason I have become immune to being surprised by idiocy. A year after the protests, my friend Jamie Weinstein wrote a nice piece reminiscing about the events. Excerpt:

It is difficult to imagine anything could be that magnificently beautiful and serene. I write this having just come from lying down in a parking lot. Not just any parking lot. Redbud Parking Lot.

As my skin touched the dark black asphalt of the Redbud Parking Lot, I was filled with a happy spirit... 

Of course, the Redbuddies only monkeyed around for a few weeks, and were far outdone by the professionally trained Berkeley tree-climbers.  Here's how the CNN article puts it:

Since [the protest began], Democrats have chosen their first black presidential candidate, the housing market has taken a dive, and gasoline prices have boomed.

I would say that since the protest began, Democrats have chosen yet another white male presidential candidate, we have won Iraq back from Al Qaeda and other terrorists,  and the Supreme Court finally confirmed that Americans have an individual right to own guns.