Baseball Team Has Politically Correct, Politically Incorrect Nights
On Politically Correct Night:
And on Politically Incorrect Night:[The] Spinners will take measures to make sure nobody—including the players—leaves the ballpark offended. Players committing an error will not be identified for fear of hurting their feelings, and gender-neutral terms will be used to refer to the players, for example first baseperson instead of first baseman... [and] referring to the shortstop as the “vertically-challenged stop.”
In addition, bases will not be identified as first, second, or third, and will be treated equally without numerical ranking, the foul lines will be identified as fair lines and instead of having one fan of the game, every fan will be recognized as Fan of the Game...
Lastly, the Spinners will be paying added attention to “Going Green” on Political Correctness night, encouraging fans to recycle and promoting carpooling and public transportation to the game, as well as a salute to Hybrids.
For the July 23 game the first 250 fans, male or female, in attendance will receive Lowell Spinners potholders.
I wish the big boys did that too.[The] Spinners will for one night create “Men Only” entrances to the ballpark and allowing only men to participate in the between-innings promotions.
Furthermore, the first 250 women in attendance will receive pink Lowell Spinners potholders to use in kitchen while preparing dinner for their husbands. As a result, only females will take orders at the two main concession stands.
The Spinners are also happy to provide napping areas for any senior citizens who feel the need to “rest their eyes” during the game. Cot stations will be set up on the concourse, available to any fans over the age of 60.
The Spinners will continue their salute to the incorrect, offering complimentary gas cards to fans to encourage them to use as much gas as possible, including encouraging families to drive to the game separately. A tribute to gas guzzlers will include needlessly driving vehicles during each between-inning break.
Paul Ibrahim
in Political Correctness, Sports
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